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WWE Wrestlemania 28 Review

There was a ton of hype surrounding this years Wrestlemania with the return of The Rock to the WWE universe, Taker’s streak on the line in the Hell In The Cell and two excellent looking World Title matches. Did Mania live up to this insane level of hype or fall flat like last years extravaganza? Time for you to find out.

Match 1 – Shamus vs Daniel Bryan

Disgraceful and shameful booking is on full display here. You charge $65 for an event and then you book the Heavyweight Title match to end in only 18 seconds? Words can’t describe how furious the crowd I was watching this with were at the end of this debacle. What in the hell were they thinking? 18 seconds for one of the most anticipated matches of the night yet you have plenty of time for skits with Deadliest Catch captains, a racist minstrel show skit by Clay and a musical performance by a crappy meth addict looking rapper who wont even have a career in music this time next year? Epic fail WWE. Epic f’n fail. – 0 out of 5 stars

Match 2 – Kane vs. Randy Orton

Pretty much the generic definition of a basic wrestling match, albeit a bit of a sloppy one. Nothing much to say other then this is about as good of a match as you could hope for considering the participants. To be fair, the end of the match did feature a nice spot, a bit of a rarity in Kane matches. – 2.5 out of 5 stars

Match 3 – Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

Do you remember the hilarious promo Cody Rhodes cut about Big Show being a slang term for crap, well that pretty much sums up this match. Like anything involving the Big Show, it was boring, slow paced, filled with botches and ended poorly. Side not. When exactly did it become legal to use a clenched fist? Yet another reason I despise all Big Show matches. – 2 out of 5 stars

Match 4 – Maria Menounos & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Eve

You typical WWE divas match, AKA lots of botches and sloppy work, though we did see one nice high risk, top rope move pulled off by Kelly Kelly. The only other thing of note in the match was that Maria was looking pretty damn attractive. Pretty crappy overall though and having a “celebrity” with no wrestling training go over your women’s champ kind of makes the belt worthless. Maybe next time how about you book someone other than your Champion to job to a celebrity. – 1.5 out of 5 stars

Match 5 – HHH vs. The Undertaker

With the streak on the line these two really stepped things up a notch for their Wrestlemania rematch. This was hands down the best match WWE has put on since the early 2000’s. This really did have the feel of a classic Attitude Era showdown, from the storytelling, to the raw brutality, to J.R.’s excellent commentary, to the hot crowd, this was picture perfect. I came into this match expecting very little and what HHH & Undertaker gave us far exceeded what I thought was even possible. Simply said, it was a thing of old school wrestling beauty. – 5 out of 5 stars

Match 6 – Team Laurinaitis vs. Team Teddy

If you despise Santino as much as I do than I have bad news for you, you will be just as disappointed to learn as I was yet again that Santino did not die in this match. One day, I keep telling myself, maybe just maybe. I kid, though I do hate his guts. On paper this match looked like a cluster **** of awfulness, yet it some how ended up not being all that bad. There were a few nice spots, everyone, other than Otunga, got some sort of highlight in and then it was over. The end was a bit weak but at least it didn’t turn into the comical farce we all envisioned. – 2.5 out of 5

Match 7 – Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This match started off a bit slow and was clunky for the first quarter or so but then once the storyline aspect of the match was put on the backburner, things really started to heat up. From there we got some excellent counters and technical mat wrestling from these two future hall of famers. While this wasn’t quite the 5 star match these two are capable of putting on, it was still stellar and just a sliver of what is to come from this great feud. – 4.5 out of 5 stars

Match 8 – John Cena vs. The Rock

After sitting through a painfully embarrassing performance from Machine Gun Kelly, who really needs to be introduced to food, told about this magical thing called push ups and these other wondrous things called weights that one lifts in order to not have the body of a 14 year old starving Ethiopian child (sidebar: people please stop with the skinny jeans, enough is enough already) and then sitting though not one but two songs from the equally awful Flo Rida, we finally got to see what everyone paid for, wrestling. While perhaps over billed by WWE to the poit where even a 5 star match couldn’t even meet peoples enormous expectations this contest still delivered. False finished after false finish, finisher after finisher, and a surprise outcome all made this one of the most memorable contest in Wrestlemania history. Not the best match but still something that was pretty damn entertaining. – 4 out of 5 stars

Overall

This years Wrestlemania got off to a horrible start, with an undercard littered with sloppy, poorly booked matches, yet a sea change occurred midway through the 5 star HHH vs. Undertaker match that changed the whole tide of the event. I was conviced I’d be sitting here railing against yet another failed WWE PPV but instead I sit extolling its virtues, feeling something I havent felt in a very, very long time. Hope. Hope that this day marked a new chapter in WWE history. Hope that the disastrous PG era has finally run its course. Hope that Monday Night may be the first day in a new golden era. – Overall 3.5 out of 5

How do the ratings work?

ONE STAR = PURE GARBAGE

TWO STARS = BAD

THREE STARS = AVERAGE

FOUR STARS = GREAT

FIVE STARS = CLASSIC

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