Game Reviews
Zeno Clash Review

From the first five minutes you can tell this game is going to be weird. Just how weird is completely unknown until you get a few hours in. The game focuses around Ghat, a child of the Father-Mother. The Father-Mother is an enormous bird looking creature that raises orphaned infant creatures. As a result those creatures grow lovingly attached and defensive of (believe it or not) her. Except for Ghat. He wants to kill her. And speaking of that – he did.

One day you just wake up, and people want to whoop your ass

Now Ghat and his crazy hair wearing girlfriend Deadra are on the run from his family who mean to do him serious bodily harm. His problem, your (supposed) delight. The game starts off pretty simple, you kick, punch, block, and then you start learning how to manipulate your moves to fit your opponents. You can do grabs and throws – oh I’m sorry, did I forget to mention this was all in the first person? I guess I did. Oddly enough, THAT part works out really well. The stuff that doesn’t I’ll get to later on.

Use Jergens next time...for those dry hands.

The graphics in this game are very impressive in some spots, in others only the art style manages to pull off any eye candy. The game runs very smoothly at most points. Although there’s never much on screen at one time. The game tends to reuse a lot of assets. You’ll be scratching your head thinking you killed someone not 20 minutes earlier only to see them charging at you again. I guess deep down Ghat can’t really kill his former family members, although they have no reservations towards him.

No, pig, that wont do.

The ragdoll physics in this game are reserved for attacks only. When your opponent is weak you can land a power move that will quite literally send them flying (especially if they’re one of those ugly stupid bird looking monstrosities). You have the ability do counter attacks that do massive amounts of damage yet the timing can be tricky at first. You don’t really feel like you lack the proper tool to defend yourself, it’s more that you’re being attacked with more than you’re capable of dealing with.

No shirt, no shoes, nothing left in my stomach after seeing this.

Now, at a note, this game sets its standard difficulty to Hard. It seems to only affect the damage you take that I didn’t feel was insufficient. The main problem is the game decides to lock onto anything that gets near you. It can be insanely frustrating when you’re trying to combat 3 opponents and snipers. Ridiculously, overly frustrating. Not to mention guns feel so terrible in this game, the addition seems a poor design choice at best. They only impede your progress at the hand of your enemies rather than assist in your victory. These two completely terrible decisions will more than likely abet your decision NOT to finish the game, as they did mine. Thankfully I’m not a reviewer amirite?

Feeed meee!

The atmosphere in the game is very interesting, the world incredibly unique and the characters quirky and oddly enough melodic. The game has its own charm, but weirdness doesn’t necessarily mean that the story being told has some deeper meaning. It seems a facade for poor design elements to seem less terrible. If the game idea had maybe started with more tangible gameplay ideas instead of a total loss of realism this might have been cooking with gas. As it stands I really wish I’d gotten this at the $10 price. And for those who haven’t yet seen this, I recommend a Steam sale if the demo hasn’t won you over.

Cant come up with anything...Maybe something on his piercings but nah.
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anti fatigue mats

I'm still not sure I get it." Those words, spoken in a rare quiet moment by your cavegirl sidekick Deadra, sum up Zeno Clash, a bizarre action game made by Chilean indie ACE Team and available through Steam, Valve Software's online content delivery service. Everything here save for the blend of melee fighting with first-person shooting is absolutely insane. Dialogue is nonsensical. And the background architecture and terrain could are right out of a surrealist painting. Only fast and furious scrapping saves the game from being an incomprehensible mess; you don't have to worry about the crazy plot when you're beating somebody's head in with a club.